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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
1:00 AM: Alarm clock rings.

2:00 AM: Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed.

2:30 AM: Throw everything except kitchen sink into pickup.

3:00 AM: Leave for deep woods.

3:15 AM: Drive back home to pick up gun.

3:30 AM: Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight.

4:00 AM: Set up camp. Forgot the damn tent.

4:30 AM: Head for the woods.

6:05 AM: See 8 deer.

6:06 AM: Take aim and squeeze trigger.

6:07 AM: "CLICK"

6:08 AM: Load gun while watching deer go over hill.

8:00 AM: Head back to camp.

9:00 AM: Still looking for camp.

10:00 AM: Realize that you don't know where camp is.

NOON : Fire gun for help---eat wild berries.

12:15 PM: Run out of bullets---eight deer come back.

12:20 PM: Strange feeling in stomach.

12:30 PM: Realize that you ate poison berries.

12:45 PM: Rescued.

12:55 PM: Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped, throw up instead.

3:15 PM: Arrive back at camp.

3:30 PM: Leave camp to kill deer.

4:00 PM: Return to camp for bullets.

4:01 PM: Load gun---leave camp again.

5:00 PM: Empty gun on squirrel that's bugging you.

6:00 PM: Arrive at camp -- see deer grazing.

6:01 PM: Load gun.

6:02 PM: Fire gun.

6:03 PM: One dead pickup truck.

6:05 PM: Hunting partners arrive in camp dragging deer.

6:06 PM: Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partners.

6:07 PM: Fall into fire.

6:10 PM: Change clothing, throw burned ones in fire.

6:15 PM: Take pickup, leave hunting partners and deer in the woods.

6:25 PM: Pickup boils over due to hole shot in block.

6:26 PM: Start walking.

6:30 PM: Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud.

6:35 PM: Meet bear.

6:36 PM: Take aim.

6:37 PM: Fire gun, blow up barrel that's plugged with mud.

6:38 PM: Shit pants.

6:39 PM: Climb tree.

10:00 PM: Bear leaves. Wrap @#$%&* gun around tree.

Midnight: Home at last. Fall on knees thanking Maker.

Sunday: Watch football game on TV, slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces, place into envelope and mail to Game Warden, with very clear instructions on where to place it.

4,659 Posts
You know, If I actually saw that while hunting and thought about it for a second I would have to shoot the deer in the middle first. Cause the one in back is so confused that if the one in the middle fell down dead then he would probably still stand there and wonder...."Did I do that!" LOL
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